Thinking Back

The other night I took a little stroll down memory lane. Tessa had fallen asleep in her bed and I went into room one last time before I went to bed, just like I do every night. Before I go to sleep, I always go into her room and just watch her sleep for a couple minutes. I usually put my hand on her chest or back because I just love to feel her breathing while she's asleep and so peaceful. It brings me so much joy to stand in her room and watch her sleep. She is my life, my everything. So when I was in there standing, staring, it reminded me of that same behavior, but backed up like 14 months ago. In those last few weeks of my pregnancy, after we had moved into our house and gotten everything decorated, and I had already had my showers and had Tessa's room all ready for her to arrive, I used to do that very thing every night. Before bed, I would walk into her room and just stare. I would soak in the pink walls and feel her soft blankets in her crib just waiting for a baby to snuggle around. I loved to sit in the glider and just dream of the day that I would have a baby to rock in my arms. But it was amazing, as much time as I spent in there, picturing what it would be like when Tessa finally arrived, it never felt real. It didn't make a difference that it looked like I was hiding a watermelon under my shirt, it just felt totally surreal, like I was waiting for a day that would never come. Now here I am, 14 months later, with a 13 month old beautiful, amazing little girl who has changed my life more than I could ever imagine. It feels like this time has flown by, and yet at the same time, it feels like this has been my life forever. I don't remember what life was like before Tessa was a part of it. Now, my experiences in her room are very different. Yes, I still go in there every night, but it's to watch my beautiful, sleeping girl. Then, 10 hours later, I am meeting her back in that same room to greet her with a good morning song and smile. She's always waiting for me in her bed anxious for her day to start!

Tessa's room after just getting it finished - still waiting for her to arrive!

Tessa at 9 month old just playing her crib!

Good morning Tessa! Greeting Mommy and Daddy with a smile on the morning of her birthday!